


Emotions

by makeuswhole



Series: Star Wars: a New Story [2]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20761832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeuswhole/pseuds/makeuswhole
Summary: They say every couple has their issues but with an emotional distraught companion like Kylo Ren, it comes with some luggage.Originally posted on my star wars fanfic Tumblr! jediwarsimagines





	Emotions

Kylo walked around the entire base looking around for General Hux to ask where you were, expecting him to be with you.

However, to his surprise, you weren’t there and Hux had no recollection where you had gone to or if you even said what you were doing. "I don't know where your woman is, Ren. Nor do I recall ever seeing her." he turned around, walking away without bothering to continue the conversation.

Angry, Kylo stormed out of the main base of operations and out into the snow searching for your location.

You needed to getaway. Getaway from everything. Needed to have time away from The First Order, your job, and sadly -- Kylo. You felt guilty for feeling that way but it just built up to be too much at the current time. In secret, you packed your bags and was ready to take a ship off to some distant world... Far away from The First Order's reaches.

Once you walked into the hanger, your palms grew sweaty and you dropped your bags onto the floor. The hanger was empty as it was shift change for the employees working in this sector, it was the perfect time to make your escape. 

Your head wiped around side to side quickly, you even turned in circles several times, unsure as to what decision to make. 

Something pulled you back to the base and back to the Order. Back to Kylo.   


Then the temptation of escape whispered sweetness in your ear, the chance to get away from it all and a chance to start as a new person -- a new life.  


But the snowfall that slowly fell from the sky and covered the land of the Starkiller Base with a twinkling, beautiful blanket of snow caught your attention instead. With your bags in hand, you ventured outside instead.

Standing in the forest you breathed in the clean fresh air, putting a handout as a single snowflake touched your bare palm and melted. You heard a snapping of twigs from behind, turning quickly around Kylo was standing before you. He wasn’t wearing his helmet, his face was red and he was breathing heavily. Unsure if it was from the cold weather or something else entirely.

He quickly trudged through the snow and now the two of you were face to face, “Do you not want to stay here anymore? That’s what it is, isn’t it?” he ran a hand down his face slowly and shook with frustration. You reached your hand out to touch his but he pushed it away. 

You could feel the force, feel it tightening around your body. Like as if his fist was wrapped around your rib cage. “Kylo–.” you could feel his grip make its way up to my throat where Kylo began focusing harder and harder. Struggling to breathe, you placed your hands up to your neck as if that would do anything to help you because his physical hands were not touching you.

You began to see dark spots in your vision, Kylo used the force to drag you closer to him.

Reaching out your right hand placing it on his gloved left. Trying to keep eye contact with him, you looked deep into his eyes.

Then he snapped out of it and released, dropping you into the snow. A gasp loudly escaped from your mouth as air rushed into your empty lungs. Face full of snow, you felt frozen. You reached out for Kylo’s leg to touch him but was too weak to do so. 

“What have I done?” Kylo stuttered out, he fell to his knees and grabbing you and his hands roaming wildly through your hair.

He hovered over you, scooping you from the snow and he cradling you in his arms. Lifting you up out of the icy snow and into the warmth of the base, Kylo setting your body down on the bed in your shared quarters. 

Kylo was silent as he turned internally to reflect on his actions, the constant pull between the light and darkness that waged war within. He left you to rest alone as he left to a secluded place.

You slept for what felt like years and when you awoke it was the dead of night. Looking to your right where Kylo always slept expecting him to be there but he wasn’t. Jumping out of bed and searching the halls you came across two stormtroopers, “Kylo Ren, where is he?” they shook their heads, “No idea ma’am.” with no help from them you sent them back to whatever it was they were doing. 

Your bare feet echoed in the empty halls as you tried to find him. With no use, you returned to your chamber hopefully he would come back from wherever it was he had gone to. In the morning he still wasn’t there...

Changing into your work uniform you made my way to the control room to perform your daily work tasks. Also, Kylo would be there just as he was almost daily -- that being how the two of you got so acquainted. Exchanging glances between one another and Kylo placing subtle physical touches on your body -- it all built up from there.

You kept your face void of any emotion but inside there was turmoil brewing, Kylo's distraught face was burned in your mind.

Then you saw him, facing out the large glass that looked out upon the landscape of the frozen terrain. 

You weren't sure how to handle the situation. What he did was wrong and you wanted him to know just how wrong it was. Never should he have used his Force powers on you, he even broke the promise he made to you that he never would. A hot sensation was burning in your chest, you want to walk up to him and rip that mask off his face.

But when it came time to approach him, you didn't have the guts to fulfill the action.

You held your breath as you approached him, placing a hand on his arm, expecting him to greet you, he said nothing. 

Confused, you spoke first, “Can we talk?” still nothing, just him looking into the landscape, empty. Even more confused and hurt you turned away from him, “Kylo?” you tried again, "Where were you last night? We seriously need to have a chat." Still nothing from the man.

"Acting like a child shows weakness in a superior and a partner." you coldly remarked before walking away to take your post on the other side of the room, you wiped an angry tear away.

Spending the whole day with nothing but what had happened on your mind you couldn’t continue your work. Standing up from your desk you made your way back to your quarters, you searched for the bags that you previously packed.   


"Damnit, Ren." you cursed, he must've hidden them somewhere...  


You looked in all the closets, under the bed, and everywhere that you could think of. Finally, you looked on his side of the bed to find the two suitcases sitting beside his nightstand.

"This is pointless," you said to yourself as you started to re-pack your bags with your clothing and belongings.

You love him, with all your heart and you know he loves you. But how can you act this way towards someone you love? Rushed with emotions you shoved bunches of clothing into the bag and turned around to leave the room, that’s when you bumped right into Kylo’s strong chest. 

“Where are you going?” he said lacking emotion. 

Not being able to tell if he was mad or whatever he was, you tried to push past him. He placed a hand on your chest and pushed you back slightly. He took a step towards you but you tried to push past him again, he placed both of his hands on your shoulders.

“This is where you belong,” he spoke, his demeanor calm. You let out a frustrated sigh, “Well, I don’t feel like I should be here right now.”

Trying for the third time to push past him, he pushed you again, with a jab in the chest with his first three fingers. He then pressed you against the wall, his fingers tracing your jawline up and down. His breath was warm but had some shakiness to it. Kylo's face was practically pressed up against your, his lips grazed your cheek -- he leaned in for a kiss but pulled away.

“Please don’t leave.” the hands that were on your shoulders dropped to your waist. His fingers playing with the fabric of your uniform's shirt. Kylo tugged the shirt away from its neatly tucked in place at your waistband.  


"Kylo -- stop," you whispered out, pushing him from yourself but he didn't budge.  


His lips pressed onto yours, he held your face tightly with his gloved hands. You didn't want his kiss, you wiggled under his hold -- giving him a small bite to the lip which caused him to recoil, placing a finger to his lip to check for blood.  


"What has gotten into you?!" you screamed out with fists clenched. Kylo stood there his face pale yet emotionless, his eyes were glistening which told you everything.

He collapsed onto his knees and hung his head, his fists were clenched.

Pushing his face into your legs he gasped and let out a yell. “I know you don’t deserve what I’ve done. But please, you can’t leave. I fear for your safety.” he looked up to your face, his eyes now red and bloodshot, sweat now covered his face.  


" I'm sorry --," he struggled to spit the words out as he spoke through clenched teeth.

You were speechless, as long as you have known Kylo, he never acted this way ever. You quickly learned that the man struggled with his emotions especially anger. So it was no surprise that after finding out that you were planning on fleeing from him and The Force Order, anger quickly enveloped him. Maybe it was fear as well? Fear leads to anger.  
  
"Kylo--," you finally spoke, placing your hands on the back of his head, his hair was wet with sweat.

He didn't say anything, his palms now grasping the fabric of your shirt that he untucked, head now hanging down again.  


Taking his hands in yours and unclenched them from the fabric of your clothing that he had balled up. You kneeled down to meet his level, taking his face in your hands and lifting his head.  


He wouldn't look you in the eyes, his gaze was off in the distance as if he was sifting through his memories or thoughts. You called his name out to get his attention but he didn't acknowledge it, just staring off into the distance -- looking at the wall that was just to the left of your body.  


A swift blow to the face ripped him from his trance, his right cheek stinging slightly and growing hot. He watched as you returned your hand to your side, indicating that the 'bee sting' he felt on his cheek was actually a slap from your hand.  


Kylo raised his hand to touch his cheek, despite the stinging he didn't flinch or even recognize it as pain -- more like an inconvenience to him that you chose to slap him.  


"Sorry. It was like you were hypnotized, I couldn't think of anything else to do." you apologized but before you continued, you stopped. Why were you the one apologizing? Kylo had more things to be sorry for than just being rude to you.  


He broke his promise to never use the Force on you, without your permission that is. Never use it without your permission and out of anger especially.  


"I'm not going anywhere, Kylo. Under one condition." your words finally catching his attention, he didn't seem to be in a haze anymore. "Never ever use the Force for your anger towards me, Kylo. I am not afraid of anyone coming after me." your tone dropped at your stare into his brown eyes deepened.  


"I won't, [Y/N]. I failed you, I let my anger get the best of me abused my powers against you and I am sorry." he grabbed your hands and the two of you raised to a stand. Kylo wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and placing his nose on your neatly pulled back hair, breathing you in.  
  
Kylo held you tightly, the conflict within now waging war even harder now. The anger stemming from and working jointly with the darkness and the remorse and love from the light playing tug-of-war with his heart and being.


End file.
